January 2003 : Issue 8
A newsletter brought to you by Aussie Résumés http://www.aussieresumes.com
Aussie Résumés offer résumé writing services, a résumé and covering
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addition to The Australian Résumé Writer software.
Editor: Tara West
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In This Issue
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> Welcome
> Guest Article: "What's Success Costing You?" by Fred Tanner
> Interesting Comments from Employers
> Subscribe / Unsubscribe Information
> Contact Information
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Welcome
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ARTICLE:
What's Success Costing You? by Fred Tanner
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In today's society much importance is placed on striving for and reaching
success. It is common for many to measure themselves and others in terms of
success. A successful person is characterized as someone who makes a great deal
of money and has all of the material trappings that go along with the
"image" of success such as houses, cars, clothes, jewellery etc.
What is Success?
Many of us are conditioned at a young age on what constitutes success. Our
parents, society, the media and other influences really create the definition of
success that many of us aspire to. Often times happiness or fulfilment are not
included in the definition. Material possessions and stature are what's listed
as the prime importance. Because of this many individuals are unhappy and
disillusioned with trying to achieve the "ideal of success" that has
been defined by others.
I am a great example of someone who learned success from others. My success
model was my father. Most young men growing up emulate their father's actions
and are conditioned to follow their lead. My father was a college graduate with
an advanced degree and I followed a similar course. Like my father I was taught
the importance of being a good provider and raising my family at the highest
level possible in terms of material things. I also did not receive the
"softer side" from my father and had to develop this quality later on
with my own wife and children. My father also taught me to work hard - do
whatever I did "right". My father and I were successful in terms of
the definition created by society. In fairness to my father, he reached total
success after he retired. His career was keeping him from complete success. He
was paying too high a price for success. So was I.
How Does Success Impact Society?
Men and women today are wrapped up in their careers as never before. They are
working longer days including Saturdays. Many families are never eating together
for dinnertime, which helps explain the success of fast food and frozen prepared
dinners. Families are becoming more distant as evidenced by the divorce rate,
illegal drug usage, alcoholism, troubled teenagers, infidelity and other
problems. With the invention of cell phones we never seem to be away from the
job even at home when we should be enjoying our family time. We as a society are
paying too high a price for success.
Why do we seem to spend so much time worrying about making more money and
having a better job? The illusive perfect job does not seem to exist. We move
our family from place to place for promotions, more money, greater
responsibility and more pressure. Society calls this "ambition".
We seem to work harder to make more money to buy more things. When I lived in
a northern suburb of Dallas, Texas, "things" were very important to
most people. A big house with a marble entry foyer was the norm. Interesting
that many people who bought such homes were mortgaged to the hilt. They couldn't
even afford to furnish all the rooms. If they did, the furniture was not
anywhere near the quality of the home. It looked out of place.
The next trophy of success apparent in the Dallas suburbs was the automobile.
Mercedes, Lincoln Navigators, Chevy Suburbans, BMW's. Jaguars and other
expensive cars were the norm. Most were leased not owned. What was even more
interesting, was that when "successful" parents' children turned 16,
the children expected and received the same kinds of cars. Parents were letting
their children know what success was by the car they were given to drive. If the
teenagers wrecked the new "Beemer", they just got another one. I still
remember the old Datsun station wagon my parents gave me when I was a fledgling
driver years ago. It did not make me feel successful, but drove me to work for a
better car.
Other trophies that displayed success in North Dallas included clothing and
jewellery, not to mention cosmetic surgery. Success was being defined in very
superficial ways.
What's Success Costing You?
The cost of success can be divided into tangible and intangible categories. I
challenge you to make a detailed list of the price you are paying for success.
Some may be obvious, while others may be hidden or difficult to identify.
Examples might be the relationship with your spouse is not what it once was, you
are always tired and irritable or you never seem happy anymore.
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Ask yourself the following questions.....
Are you happy with your current situation and striving for success? Do you
enjoy your job? Is it easy to get out of bed in the morning and go to work? Once
you get to work does your job provide you with fulfilment and happiness? What
would you rather be doing to make you happier? Would this new thing make you
feel successful or just happier? Maybe your definition of success needs to
change. Throw away society's definition and create your own.
How is your relationship with you family, spouse, children or friends? Do you
spend quality time with them? Do they want to spend time with you? Do you feel
that you and your spouse are getting closer as time goes by or are your drifting
apart? Some people that are trapped into feeling that success is important might
be surprised if they questioned their spouse on what they felt was important.
Sometimes quality time with the one you love is more important than having more
material possessions. Do you need to change your definition of success or create
your own?
How is your health? When was the last time you felt good physically? Is
success causing you to feel more anxiety and stress? What is causing that
tightness in your chest? Reaching and working for greater financial rewards does
not always end with more rewards. You have heard the term "working yourself
to death". Some actually do it literally. You may know someone who strived
for more but left this world before their prime. Will you live longer following
the course you are currently on? Create your new definition of success.
How are you currently feeling about your values and integrity as it relates
to your job? Are you finding that you are having to sometimes compromise your
values? Do you have to cut corners and not offer your clients the level of
service or value you would like in order to improve short-term profits? Are you
able to pay your employees what they are truly worth? Are you professing to be
someone you really are not? In striving for success what is happening with your
value system? Is success worth not following your values? Do you feel like an
impostor? Are you selling out on those character traits that you were once proud
of? If so you probably are not fulfilled inside. It's hard to be something you
are not.
Whatever stage of life you are in you can make changes to reduce the cost you
are paying for success. For some it may take a great deal of time and effort.
You will reach your goal faster.
About the Author
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Fred W. Tanner MA ( fwtanner@lifebizcoach.com ) is a life and business coach
helping small businesses and individuals achieve success. He is currently living
and working in the beautiful north Georgia mountains and is converting his
mountain home into a bed and breakfast inn with his wife. For more information
visit http://www.lifebizcoach.com
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Interesting Comments from Employers
(extract from the 2002 Aussie Résumés Employer Survey)
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1) A good first impression can be created by a neat, simply easy to read résumé
- it doesn't need to be a graphic design work of art."
2) Application is only one part of the selection process. Interview, referees
and supporting documentation and selection testing are also important
components." - Community & Public Sector Union
3) Some applications give DOB, others don't. Either way, we always try to
work out their age!!"
4) (A career objective) "is imperative to see personal aspirations and
whether you can accommodate them into your business."
5) "I want to know where their career has taken them. I only want to see
detail for the last 10-15 years, the rest can be brief."
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